Change your thoughts, change your life

So it’s been a busy few days.

So after writing my last post, Ugly in 5 Steps, I mentally chastised myself for being so harsh. Especially since we’ve all been known to exhibit some of those traits (definitely myself included).

So I asked myself, “Why?” Why did I feel so harsh/hateful/condescending/judgmental? Here’s what I discovered.

Like attracts like. Your life is a reflection of your thoughts and values. 

Oooh… So you mean that the reason I have these people in my life and I’m not where I want to be is because of my own behavior and dark thoughts? … Ouch. Got me right where it hurts. The truth.

So I asked myself, “What do I want my life to look like?” Because really, if I want to change my life I need to change my perspective and the way I think about people and situations.

So this is my experiment for this week. Cut off the experience at the thought. Something happens, instead of dwelling on it I want to thank God that it happened, see what I can learn from it and MOVE ON.

Oh, and put what I learned into practice. Because if you don’t make a change, did you really learn anything? Remember, you can’t control your life, but you can control how you look at it.

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How To Be Ugly in 5 Steps

There’s a million tutorials out there on how to be beautiful, so I figured it was time for an Ugly tutorial.

First Step:

Vanity 

Have lots of it. Make use of every mirror you find.

Second Step:

Narcissism

No one else REALLY matters, and you know it.

Third step:

Hold Grudges. Don’t forgive. Ever.

Oh, and don’t forget to get even.

Fourth Step: Be Angry. All the time. 

Find the most insignificant points about your day and make them into a mountain of trouble.

 

And the Fifth (last) step:

Look down on everybody.

Because really, we know that you’re better than everybody and no one can judge your actions. See step two.

 

If you follow these you’ll be sure to be someone who is as ugly and dead on the inside as this tree is on the outside.

 

Sad part is we each probably know at least 5 people like this. Beautiful on the outside (probably gorgeous), admired by many, but how many admire them for their character? Yeah..

What do you think of “beauty” now?

Why Being Kind Matters

So this has really been on my mind lately.

It seems that those who are kind are downtrodden, made fun of, and in general ostracized.  This primarily done by bullies and by those who feel that “kindness” is not realistic, or only accept kindness when it looks a certain way.

Another point that has been brought up is that a lot of kindness seems insincere. My question to that is, “Does it matter why it’s being done?” If there are strings attached that’s not kindness, it’s a business deal, an agreement.

Kindness should be given and taken at face value.

The world can ALWAYS use a little more kindness. Below are my reasons why kindness matters.

  • “You are responsible for living the life you have.” <- Notice it’s not the life you want, it’s the life you have.  So wouldn’t you want a little more kindness thrown in there? If you start being kind you’ll notice that it tends to come back at you too. 🙂

  • “If you always give, you’ll always have.” Same kind of idea as above. You get out what you put in. Plus, if you read my previous post then you would know that I also believe that giving is tied to peace, and ultimately, happiness.

  • Some people that’s all they can offer. Dog owners can relate. They offer what they have.

  • Lastly, sometimes it’s the only hope we have. Is the kindness, and the belief that you were important enough to someone for them to care a smidgen.

And now I’m sitting here bawling because I looked through all the “Faith in humanity restored” pictures.. (-.-‘)

Being “kind” is not unrealistic, it’s not suspicious, and it’s not something to be ostracized for. The people that bully need kindness even more than others. “People hurt others when they themselves are hurting.”

Even if you’re bullied or ostracized, do it anyway. You’re making a difference, and the people you’re kind to will more than make up for it. I promise.

“If we all gave just a little light, imagine how bright the world would be.”

What Peace Looks Like

There are many parts to having peace and being a “peaceful” human being. I’m only going to look at two. I’d love to see what you would add to the list in the comments!

First, maturity.

“Act like an adult.”

“Act your age not your shoe size.”

“Grow up.”

I believe we’ve all heard these at one point on our journey to our “adult” lives. Well.. maybe not the middle one, that seems to be a 90’s thing. Anywho! These are most often said in an argument or disagreement when the other party feels that our behavior is “beneath” them, or immature.

So stemmed my next question. What does maturity look like?

My first thought was that it comes with age… I was proved wrong.

 

So I looked a little closer. “Why would maturity come with age? More importantly, why would I think that?” Ah ha! Because with age comes experiences and it’s in those experiences that we gain understanding and training.

Training for what? See the picture below.

It takes a great amount of self-discipline not to retaliate. Something I’m apparently not so good at.. (-.-‘) I emboldened the two words above because I feel that’s the main part of “maturity” that helps us to become peaceful, understanding and training (self-discipline). 

 

Second, happiness is not why we’re here.

“uh.. What?? Wait, I’m sorry. Did you just say what I think you said?! Mmm, gurrrrrl, you crazy!” That’s you. Right now. Or at least that was me when I first heard this.

So let’s give it some thought and we’ll see where it leads.

Happiness is not why we’re here.

“Why do you say that?”

Oh.. So you think we’re here on earth so that you can get that next video game? Or maybe that new furniture set? Or that new pair of shoes? Or maybe that new car! Because these are all things that lead to “happiness.”

So you get that video game/furniture set/pair of shoes/new car… Now what? Are you happy? For how long until you see something else you NEED for “happiness?”

Yeah.. That’s what I thought. We as humans can spend YEARS chasing after these things. I am just as guilty. I think.. “I just need to make my home a place where I feel comfortable, then I’ll be happy!” Yeah, no. My home is comfortable, still don’t have that “happy” sense of wellbeing.

If we’re always chasing that “happy” feeling, how can there be peace? How can there be peace if there’s no rest? I’m not talking about physically, I’m talking internally, emotionally.

How can there be peace if you can’t just stop and be you because you NEED “happy?”

We were put here to help and to glorify. 

Have you noticed that the people who help others are some of the most fulfilled, and happy people you’ve ever met?

You help and you do what you’re passionate about, and happiness follows. It’s that simple.

Making a difference makes a difference in you. It glorifies the higher being you believe in by acting out their values. Which makes that happiness even deeper.

That’s a much longer lasting happiness. It’s a lot more stable and a lot more peaceful. 

Amazing isn’t it? how understanding, training and helping others can bring you peace? 

What else do you think brings you peace?? Share it below or tweet it. I’d love to see what suggestions we can give each other!

“If we all spread a little light, imagine how bright a world it would be.” 

 

Emotions that possess you

So let’s start with a big one..

FEAR

It’s even a four-letter word. It’s paralyzing and overrides all other senses. It’s about being afraid.

Afraid

Definition: (Adj.) 1. Feeling fear or anxiety: frightened 2. Worried something undesirable will occur

Well, when you put it like that it seems that I am afraid everyday! Worried something undesirable will occur. Can you tell me who is not afraid? Pride would say, “I’m NEVER afraid!” I retort back, “Then you’re lying, and even if you’re not afraid you’re a liar. Which is worse.”

Please also notice that it’s an adjective. You don’t possess it. It possesses you.

Scarily, this is not the only emotion that does this! “Stress, worry, vanity, etc.”

So what do I do?

Courage

Definition: (Noun) 1. The ability to do something that frightens one 2. Strength in the face of pain or grief

Conquer the negative! The ability to do something that frightens one. You are able! You just have to make the choice. It’s that simple. It’s a choice.

He was afraid but had courage. Notice the word choice? Fear possessed him, but he conquered it by possessing courage. Why is this so profound that we need to be told over and over? Because fear is paralyzing. It paralyzes our mind too and it needs that outside pull.

Don’t be paralyzed! CONQUER!

A Poem for Amelia

When your activity keeps me from taking a shower,

And all my clothes are 3 days sour,

I remind myself in the 19th hour,

You won’t be so little for long.

 

When the cost of diapers is more than my shoes,

And sleep doesn’t come to those baby blues,

I tell the mind I’m about to lose,

You won’t be so little for long.

 

When all you want is to be in my arms,

And the storm gives you and the puppy alarm,

I do my best to shield you from harm

And whisper, You won’t be so little for long.

 

When you’re all grown up, off and away,

And you’re talking about all the plans that you’ve laid,

I quietly smile to myself and I say,

You’re no longer little, but strong.

It’s not business, it’s just personal

You like that title? I’ve been hearing the old adage, “It’s not personal, it’s just business” a lot lately and thought it made a lot more sense turned around.

Business nowadays IS personal. That’s why “content is king” and “storytelling” are so important in marketing. It creates this bridge between the business and the customer that says, “Yes. I understand you. I want a personal relationship with you.”  It doesn’t say, “Why, yes. We don’t actually care about you. All we really want is your money.” Even if that’s the truth.

I think the best businesses are run by savvy, entrepreneurial individuals with a passion for what they do and how they can help people.

A favorite business icon is Richard Branson. Well, there’s a reason! And it’s damn well not because he only wants your money! It’s because he understands that business is really about people, and for him, the right people working for him and the right markets buying. Yes, he’s had epic success, but don’t forget he’s also had epic failure.

Saying, “It’s not personal, it’s just business” is a self-defence technique. We hide behind “business” because it’s easier and affords us protection on a personal layer. Both good and bad. Good, because no one wants to be held personally liable, bad, because you’re creating a wall between you and your customer.

Business IS personal, and it should be. Because at the end of the day, every transaction comes down to two people. Something that shouldn’t be forgotten whether you have 2 people, or 20,000. You get the idea..