So I forgot to actually post this last week, so you get two posts this week.
WARNING: This post might contain emo material. If you find you are allergic to feelings I suggest you watch The Expendables and adopt Mulan’s mantra, “Be a man!”
The people in your life should build you up. Period. However, there’s all too many who decide that building others up just opens ourselves to judgement and attack, it’s WAAAY better to get them before they get me.
These are the lonely.
These are the brokenhearted.
And it’s the greatest irony! That those who most NEED contact are the ones who push it away.
“I don’t NEED anything. I’m tough. I’m a lone wolf. Those that need other people are weaklings and sheep.” <- One perspective.
My perspective in this was, “What do I say? There’s nothing I can do. If I do anything something will happen and I’ll be punished. People are scary. I don’t want to be vulnerable.”
Again, LONELY, and if you think like I do you end up not having any genuine relationships.
Back to that idea of people building you up.
We choose the devil we know over the one we don’t. Even if that devil is killing who we are. It’s almost as if we’d rather know we’re dying and than risk someone else killing us. Even though it’s really the same thing.
So how do you move on? How do you find people that do build you up? It’s hard. Even if you have an awesome support system, but especially if you’re in that part where you hide from people knowing the real you. You justify this by saying that you know the real you and it’s not so great.
I am ashamed to need help.
I crave it, and yet I’m ashamed. HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! That’s so frustrating!
TRUTH: You shouldn’t be ashamed of the things you truly need. And if you are? You’ve been around the wrong kind of people.
This is a subject full of complex emotions and feelings.