A letter to the girls that mocked and made fun of me, “I don’t do it for you.”

Dear Girls,

I would call you ladies, but I believe you demonstrated yesterday that you have yet to achieve that level of maturity.

Though I may be in my late 20’s – and you see me as “old” – I can still be hurt.

This is not a piece of hate-mail to you. Oh no… This is much bigger. This is me owning that I am capable of being hurt. I am vulnerable, and when people make fun of me for pursuing my passions I turn red in the face. Not with anger, but with shame. Although I really have nothing to be ashamed of, I still turn red and become embarrassed.

I feel so sorry that you have also been shamed, and don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable. For shaming others to cover our vulnerability is something that is taught, and demonstrated consistently by others.

Although your passive aggressive teasing shamed me, that won’t stop me. I don’t do it for you.

I don’t play the piano at the hospital for you. I do it for those who can’t see past their pain, or for the families that are hoping for their loved one to wake up. I do it so that maybe the music will [hopefully] connect, and communicate, what their words cannot.

Imagine if I were to stop because you felt uncomfortable with what I was doing. Would you take responsibility when someone asks, “Where is that girl that played the piano?”  Or would you laugh in their face and say, “She was annoying. Good riddance.”

I am an awkward person at best, and my own awkwardness tends to make those who are insecure feel worse. Unintentionally, I know I made you feel uncomfortable with yourself. Because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have felt the need to tease me.

I don’t do it for you, and a little criticism and teasing aren’t going to overwhelm my desire to connect with others in a meaningful way.

So I hope you got your laughs, and I hope that one day you’ll find something as equally rewarding to be passionate about. So that when you’re teased and criticized, you can offer grace and say, “I don’t do it for you.”

Best Regards,