“Temper temper..” Another way to look at anger (Poem)

A FIRE TO BURN

My little girl is full of fire,

A righteous thirst,

A just desire,

With healthy lungs she owns her cause

And marks punctuation with each of her falls,

There is no way to quell her flame,

As feral beast cannot be tamed,

And so direct it to a lane,

To celebrate that fire.

 

It was brought to my attention that children have the exact same traits as adults, and yet we judge them (and their parents) harsher than any adult that we’ve met.

That’s not to say that we see adults falling and the floor and kicking the walls (yes, that happens on a daily for both me and her), but adults do the equivalent in a lot of passive-aggressive ways because society has deemed it acceptable.

Yet we don’t say, “Hm. Well if he wasn’t allowed to do that he wouldn’t.” Uh.. Yes, he would.

We are given flaws. 

I want that to sink in. We are given, gifted even, flaws. These are teaching tools. These are lessons. An epiphany that hit me is that we, as parents, are here to help guide our children in how to leverage their flaws into strengths.

Children are raw humans. The traits they exhibit now (unless it’s developmental “just a phase”) will stay with them the rest of their life. If we deny that, we are denying a crucial part of who they are – and when they finally have the courage and self-possession to face it(which some may never), will have to do it alone and without seeing our unconditional love in their daily lives. 

What a scary thought!!

So I urge you, celebrate that fire!! Find ways of channeling, and directing, any flaw into a strength that they can use. Neurotic? What a great planner! I bet they will be some of the most organized people you’ll ever meet.  I have my wee one paint, and craft, to try and express her anger. Channeling something destructive into something constructive.

What a difference a day makes.